emotional. hurting.

I am bawling like a baby. This is literally one of maybe five times a year that I cry. I'm not a crier. Even now as I sob I am subconsciously chiding myself and hearing my own words in my mind, "Why are you crying? It doesn't help anything." But right now, at this moment, I have no other coping mechanism. I feel upset and frustrated.
I don't want to worry anyone, nothing is amiss in my life or the lives of my loved ones. But I realized this morning that something I wanted with my whole heart is not going to happen and I am breaking.
In my patriarchal blessing I was told I have been blessed with the faith of a living god. My faith has carried me through all the hardships in my life. I think maybe that's why I don't need to cry. I trust in the Lord quite naturally and know that He is guiding and shaping my life to His eternal end. Therefore things will work out, they always have, they always will.
I know all will be well...eventually. Right now though, I will cry. And while I cry I will pray to my Heavenly Father and ask Him for the comfort only He can provide. For the understanding only He has as He, and only He, knows me perfectly and therefore knows my pain, my hopes, my dreams, my goals, my heartaches, my fears, and my needs.
Today, as I cry, I will cling to Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."