always packing?

I know it's a pretty hot topic right now, maybe that's why it's on my mind, but I've been thinking a lot lately about gun laws. I know the US is one of few nations that allows the legal use of guns, in fact many even encourage guns and their use, in almost any facet of life. I have numerous friends who are regular "packers".
Dust and I went to Bass Pro Shop several years ago with the intention of selecting a hand gun for our home and its protection. I was holding a gun to "see how it felt in my hands." I felt sick to my stomach. I had the strongest fight or flight reflex raging through my body. I hated the feel of that gun in my hands. Hated its power and what it represented...my willingness to shoot someone. An intruder, yes. But someone. Someone's child. Someone's brother or sister. Perhaps someone's husband and father. Whichever of these titles he/she may or may not have, most assuredly I would be shooting a child of God. I was not/am not okay with that.

I grew up with guns. I shot guns. Our guns were always securely locked up in the gun cabinet when not in use and we only used those guns under my dad's watchful eye.
Dustin owns guns. He shoots his guns. I shoot his guns.
Our girls got a pink BB gun for Christmas. They shoot it.
The main difference for me, I guess, is that we are using hunting rifles to shoot targets such as clay pigeons, Coke cans, or bottles. We also shoot animals with the intention of eating their meat.
We are not shooting with the intention to kill a human or to improve our ability to do so.

I love the question "what would Jesus do?". One of my all-time favorite Primary songs says, "I'm trying to be like Jesus. I'm following in his ways. I'm trying to love as he did in all that I do and say." For me I just couldn't shoot someone. In my mind and in my heart that's not something Jesus would do. I don't judge others who feel differently than I do on this issue. It's very personal.

I just know I don't feel any safer when others around me are packing. It actually makes me a bit weak in the knees. It's ironic. The very thing that provides a sense of comfort and security for others actually makes me feel much more at risk of danger and harm.

I have faith that my Heavenly Father hears my prayers each morning and night as I ask him to provide safety for me and my family. I trust that he will watch over us and protect us. If I ever encounter someone intending to hurt me or my family I hope he'll bless me with the raging fury and strength I'll need to seriously impede their abilities and desires to do us harm.